Can Men Have Multiple Orgasms?
on Jul 18, 2021
Multiple orgasms. Intense, thigh shaking climaxes again and again. The 8th wonder of the sexual world… but only if you have a vulva, right?
People with penises, multi-orgasmic bliss is within reach. Allow us to show you the way…
Before we begin, here’s a word of warning. Multiple orgasms aren’t common for people with dicks - less than 17% of men report ever having one. The good news is that you CAN train yourself to climax more than once at a time, it’s just going to take some focus and practice. And a lot of masturbating…
To understand how this all works, first you need to know a bit of science. People with penises (unlike people with vulvas) experience what’s called a refractory period after they ejaculate.
‘Blowing your load’ sends a signal to your brain that your mating work is done, and that you no longer need the extra blood supply to your dick keeping it hard. This is accompanied by a release of chemicals in your brain that create that lazy, contented, post-orgasm high. This refractory period is what makes it so difficult for many men - both physically and mentally - to experience multiple orgasms.
The key? Ejaculating is NOT the same thing as having an orgasm. They’re not even mutually exclusive. Training yourself to orgasm without ejaculating means you can climax again and again.
Allowing yourself to tip over into orgasm, without falling off the cliff edge into ejaculation, takes a lot of self awareness and self control. Developing a strong connection with your body, and learning where your ‘point of no return’ is, is your vital first stage.
Edging is a masturbation technique known for giving explosive orgasms. You’ll be using it, however, to learn about your journey into orgasm - exactly what your build up feels like at different stages, what it feels like when you’re getting close, getting really close, and where your ‘point of no return’ is.
To do this, you’ll begin masturbating, then stop when you’re almost to the point of climax. Let yourself calm down and regain control of your arousal, then repeat. After several rounds of this, let yourself tip over the edge into orgasm.
Some people prefer to carry on touching themselves rather than stopping completely, and instead move to a different stroke, whilst breathing deeply and thinking about something else. Experiment, and find out what technique you prefer.
Do Kegel exercises
Kegel exercises aren’t just for women trying to improve their pelvic floor! Practising them every day can help you last longer in bed, give you more intense orgasms, helps you achieve harder erections, and yes, helps you learn to orgasm without ejaculating.
First, you need to find your ‘PC muscle’. Put two fingers on your perineum - the bit of skin between your balls and anus. Now squeeze like you’re trying to stop yourself peeing (or are trying to make your dick ‘dance’ when it’s hard), and you should feel some movement in the muscle where your fingers are.
If you’re struggling, go for a pee and try to stop yourself. That’s the muscle you need!
Kegels are simply a matter of tensing that PC muscle every day. We’d recommend practising quick squeeze and releases, as well as ‘endurance’ holds to help build muscle strength. For the control you need to separate your orgasm from ejaculation, you need to be able to hold this tension for 20 seconds or more! If you’re struggling to remember practice time, try setting a daily alarm for yourself, or using a kegel trainer app.
To separate orgasm from ejaculation - and be able to orgasm multiple times in one session - we need to put these pieces together. Try not to get too frustrated with this process - it takes a lot of daily practice and focus, but the commitment will be worth it!
- Using what you’ve learned from edging, bring yourself up right to your ‘point of no return’
- As you hit this moment, squeeze your PC muscles as hard as you can, like a long kegel hold
- You can also hold the base of your penis tightly with your hand, which can stop the urge to ejaculate
- You should feel the sensation of orgasm hit a second or two before you physically ejaculate
If it didn’t work the first time, never fear. Keep trying, and soon you’ll feel these moments start to hit at different times.
If it did work, congratulations! You just achieved partial orgasm separation!
To achieve multiple orgasms, it’s a case of more practice (shock). Try to hit step 2 just before your point of no return, and visualise the feeling of orgasm filling your entire body. If you stop too early and don’t orgasm, leave it a little later next time. If you orgasm and ejaculate, you just need to stop slightly earlier.
By following these techniques daily, and staying focused on your goal, multiple orgasms are within reach. And boy are they worth it!