Spanking and Whipping for Beginners

by Lovehoney

on May 01, 2017

If the idea of mixing a little pain with your pleasure appeals, make sure you have the right tools to make the most of your fantasy.

If you want to increase the sensitivity of your partner’s skin, a spanking paddle or flogger will help set their senses alight. If you want to accessorise a dominant persona or make their skin sting, try a riding crop or a traditional cane.

This guide has some fabulous advice that will have you whipping your partner into a frenzy in no time.

Above: Discover the proper way to spank for pleasure with Jess Wilde in our how-to video.


Bondage Boutique Studded Leather PaddleSpanking is when a hand or paddle is slapped against the bottom, producing a sore thud against the skin. Although painful, spanking can be used to complement pleasurable sensations and can often give you the push you need to orgasm!

Erotic spanking can be enjoyed as part of role play, as a punishment in a BDSM scenario or even during intercourse to increase the endorphin rush.

The best way to try out spanking is to use your hands first. Cup your hand slightly, with your fingers together and spank lightly in an upward motion.

Once you have become comfortable with spanking, try doing it harder and more frequently, timing each spank to arrive no later than three seconds apart. Cover both cheeks, aiming for the lower, fleshier part and start to increase the force. Vary the pressure, frequency and placement of the slaps.

Tease by Lovehoney Spanking PaddleIf you want to take your spanking play even further, invest in a paddle such as the Bondage Boutique Studded Leather Paddle. This will allow a greater range of movement and the different texture will give you some unique sensations too.

- Never spank anywhere other than the bottom and upper thighs.
- Stop instantly if your chosen safe word is used.
- Make sure the skin is properly cared for after a spanking by using a cool moisturiser, such as aloe vera gel, or a specialist product after-spanking cream.


Tease by Lovehoney FloggerA flogger is a whip with many tails which can be used anywhere on the body but particularly the back, bottom or thighs. The many tails still produce a thudding kind of pain but at a more intense level.

Start with a flogger made of soft materials, with thick tails and rounded ends. A good example of this is the Tease by Lovehoney Flogger or Bondage Boutique Beginners Rope Flogger.

Begin by gently running the tails over the skin to get your partner accustomed to the feel of a flogger. Then start flogging your partner by swinging the whip in a figure of eight. Try using the flogger at different proximities to your partner to figure out the best way to use it.


- Always employ your safe word when things become too painful.
- Keep your flogger away from the face and eyes.


Scandal 3 Foot Faux Leather WhipThe slender tip on whips offers a much more intense sensation than a spanking paddle. For beginners, the easiest and safest way to experiment is with a riding crop like the Bondage Boutique Faux Leather Crop. They’re also great directional tools for gesturing, enhancing a dominant persona. You can even use the dining table or an armchair as a makeshift ‘whipping bench’ to bend over.

A bullwhip, such as the Scandal 3 Foot Faux Leather Whip is more difficult to use and will produce a cracking sound and a sensation that is similar to being cut. Using a bull whip can be hard and you should really spend some time practising before you even get close to your partner with one. The best way to learn is to attend a fetish workshop or practice lots in a wide open space.

- Practice lots with a crop or whip before you try it out on your partner.
- The pain of a whip is very intense so a safe word is of utmost importance.
- Controlling a bull whip is difficult so only use it when you are sure you can hit the area you want on your partner.

Need more help?

You can Contact Customer Care, who will be able to help you find the perfect bondage gear. You can send an email any time, and telephone or live chat to an experienced advisor 24 hours a day, and 7 days a week.

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Written by Lovehoney. For collaborative posts between Lovehoney team members and guest authors
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Originally published on May 01, 2017. Updated on Aug 05, 2020